Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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