I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
