I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
