Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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