We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
