yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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