Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
