Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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