I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
birth control should be required to get into college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
