im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are the jesus of drinking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
