with your own penis?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize