i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
