I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize