just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you inspire me to be a worse person
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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