he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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