I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
