I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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