I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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