i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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