I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
