Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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