your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
