dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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