Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where is the hickey?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
