i just wanna soil my oats bro
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am available for nakedness
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
