What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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