Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
