Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
