What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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