Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We talked him into tasing himself.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
