Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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