I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
