I hope mine doesn't look like that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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