Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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