I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said her name was "party"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
His nipple licking is glorious
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