I have demons in me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize