I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
