her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
