Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
