just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh god it's open bar.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
