We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Of course I have a pirate flag
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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