Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
