Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
