Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
