forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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