I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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