Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
