someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
