She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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