yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
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