Dual....:-)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
