Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
