Where is the hickey?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
