Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
