do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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