Cold hands, warm shart.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
