I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize