what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
