Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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