sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
