Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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