I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
