Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Rumble strips road head = magical
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
