You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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