did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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