he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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