i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
