I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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