I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize