I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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