I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i will never coherently bang her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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