I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
