butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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