i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
