I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
