soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
