It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
