U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
