we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
