Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
