I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
