i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
