It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
