kristin has been a bad kristin
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
