i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
