She announced her abortion via fbk
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize